for Unhindered Living
Removing Obstacles to Healthy Human Development
What ARE the
obstacles to healthy human development? Maybe if we know what
they are, we can avoid them and engage in activities that WILL be
healthy and empowering.
Think back to when you were a child, or think about one of your own
children. When babies are born, they know just what they want and
need, and they let you know right away what those things are. When they
are hungry and thirsty, they cry loudly until you get them what they
need. If you give them something to eat or drink that they don't like,
they let you know about it, and they keep asking or crying until they
get what they want.
They know what they need, but we discourage them from acknowledging
these needs and seeking to meet them. We don't trust them to know
what is good for them. We seek to squelch their natural tendency
to do what THEY know is best for them. We seek what WE want by
depriving them of what's best for them. We say things like:
Don't touch that!
Stay away from there!
Keep your hands off that!
Eat everything on your plate, whether you like it or not!
You don't really feel that way.
You don't really want that.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
Stop crying. Don't be a baby.
And as our kids got older we probably said to them (you probably heard
your parents or teachers say this to you):
You can't have everything you want simply because you want it.
Money doesn't grow on trees.
Can't you think of anybody but yourself?
Stop being so selfish!
Stop doing what you are doing and come do what I want you to do.
The trouble with all the above
statement is, none of them are true, but we teach these things to our
kids to control them.
Do you like being controlled?
so, we have created a world full of people who never feel full, never
have enough, never feel good about themselves, are ashamed of wanting
to have their needs met, and who feel that their genuine emotions
should never be expressed. We have also created a world full of
people who think that going after what they want in life is wrong, and
that the only way to get what you want is to walk all over other people
to get it.
I always tell people in my classes, Don't
live other people's dreams, and stop settling for less than you want.
I CAN have everything I
want, but it took me until I was 47 years old and I had de-programmed
myself of all the crap that we are told growing up, that I felt willing
and able to go out and get it. We are doing our children a
disservice to feed them these lines just because it's more convenient
Don't touch that! Stay away from there! Keep your hands off
Because you, as a parent, don't want to spend the time to sit with me
and guide me while I touch it. I need to explore, that's how I
learn, and I need to use my natural curiosity, but I need to you
participate with me and show me HOW to touch it gently and safely. But
you don't want to take the time, it interferes with your life.
Sorry, that's what being a parent is about. Taking the
If YOU wanted to touch something, you would. Nobody would be there to
tell you not to, and as an adult, if someone did tell you not to, you
probably would anyway if you thought it was important enough.
The difference between you and your child is, you respect and take your
own needs seriously. You don't think your child's needs are very
serious. With all due respect, you don't have the right to decide
that for your child. It's his life and his needs, not
yours. The next time you decide to interfere with something your
child wants, realize you are interfering with the rest of his life, his
emotional health, his mental progamming.
Don't tell him he can't have everything he wants. He can, if he
is willing to do what is necessary to get that thing. Instead of
just telling our children no, help them learn to get what they want.
may be thinking, "But I don't want my child to have everything he/she
wants." Why not? Because you've never allowed yourself to
have everything you want? Because you've been told it's selfish,
evil, wrong? Who says?
If we have a need, and we fill that need legitimately, we will stop
running around trying to fill it illegitimately.
Please believe me, you will NOT raise selfish kids. My kids want
things, but they work and save money for what they want, or they find
some other legitimate ways to get it. But I do not tell them they
shouldn't want it. There's nothing wrong with wanting something.
Many people try to teach their kids
not to want things, based upon some religious idea or prohibition, such
as the statement in the Bible that "It's easier for a camel to go
through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter heaven."
Most people are unaware of the true meaning of this Aramaic
idiom. The "Eye of the Needle" is a huge stone arch, big enough
for many people and camels to pass through. Was this idiom saying that
it's hard to be wealthy, or bad? No, that's something HUMANS
believe, based upon their past programming. We think that if
someone is wealthy, they must have gotten their wealth through
deception or breaking the law or stepping on others, so we think money
is evil. It's not.
Be careful of trying to use the
idioms of the Bible or other cultures as a pattern for yourself.
Most of these idioms have been translated incorrectly because those
doing the translating did not have Aramaic as their native
language. That's why when Jesus would teach, often those
listening did not understand. Jesus spoke a Northern Aramaic
dialect, and most of those he was teaching spoke a Southern Aramaic
dialect, so they had trouble understand the idioms he used. Those
misunderstandings have been carried on down through the centuries and
we perpetuate them by teaching them, incorrectly, to our children.
Jesus said, "I came that you might have life, and have it more
abundantly." Jesus wants you to have abundance. It's humans
who think somehow that it's bad.
Maybe your child just wants more control over their own life.
Maybe they just want to sleep in bed with you
instead of sleeping alone, or maybe they want to stay up as late as
they want and go to bed when they are tired, or maybe they want to stay
home and teach themselves instead of going to school, or maybe they
want figure out a way to make money so that they can do the things they
want to do, instead of going to school. Let them.
My children were allowed to school
themselves. They were allowed to study what they wanted and
ignore what they weren't interested in. They were allowed to eat
when they wanted and sleep when they wanted, work and play when they
wanted. When my son reached 21 years of age, his friends all
started to ostracize him because he didn't choose to go to
college. He saw no need. He makes enough to support
himself. In fact, we all make
enough to have everything we want now. Why go to college?
If there is a subject my son is interested in, he studies about it, on
his own, without the need for classes or a diploma. He has
observed my lifelong love of books and learning, and that's a model for
him. We have also modeled for him our lifestyle of deciding what
we want and not settling for anything less. That's the best
inheritance I can give him.
By programming our children that they can't have what they want, that
their needs and feelings aren't important, we are teaching them to
devalue others also. If they don't love themselves first, they
can't love others. If they see that it is possible for them to
have everything they want legitimately, they won't be trying to cheat
others to get it. If they see us being generous because we have
everything we need and enough to share, they will also learn to be
How can you have everything you want? I did it through Automaticbuilder.com
I am in the process of saving up to buy a million dollar home.
Like the one below.
Looks more like a hotel than a home, doesn't it?
I love to swim, and I love animals, particularly cats and
At this place, I'd be able to have them both. As well as
of bed each morning and jump into my own pool. Then I will
get out, sit down at the computer for a cup of tea, and spend
a half-hour answering emails for my business. That's it.
That's the extent of the work I do to make the incredible
amount of money I make. You can do it too. And you
have the lifestyle that you so desperately want.
It's not emotionally healthy for people to believe they are
limited. We only use about 5% of our brain's ability. We are
capable of so much more than we think or imagine.
Another thing my money is helping me do is open up The Center for
Unhindered Living here in Southwest Oklahoma. Here we teach
classes on Aware Parenting, Emotional Freedom Technique, and
Independent Income Generation, as well as techniques to help you
maxamize the Law of
Attraction which is how we get the things we need and want.
We are helping people remove obstacles to their health, happiness,
peace and prosperity. Join us!
But most important, don't stunt yours or your children's human
development by believing the myths our society perpetuates upon
us. For more about these myths, see: Dispelling our
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