Dare to Believe in Love rather than Control
Those in control try to get us to believe that it is for our
own good that we are controlled. In reality, it is only in the best
interest of those doing the controlling, not in the best interest of
the individual. What would happen if our society operated according to
Love and not Control?
People would be trusted to live their lives according to their own beliefs. People would be allowed to trust their own thoughts and feelings and act on them when they felt it was appropriate. And, love would also allow the consequences of one's own actions to teach them about which actions are really beneficial for them and which ones aren't. People would be allowed to learn, on their own, the way that seems best to them, and nobody would try to get one person to be like another. Each way of life would be respected and unconditional love would reign.
Why isn't this the way our society lives?
True love involves a total lack of control. A person who truly loves respects the other person's autonomy. A person who truly loves respects the other person's thoughts and feelings. A person who truly loves realizes that if the other person's needs are truly met, there will be no negative consequences, no negative actions, no negative repercussions.
It is very sad, but one reason people do not live this way is that we can't stand to be alone. We want other people that are like us to be around, so although each person starts out as a unique individual, they are quickly trained to be like everyone else. Isn't it true that most people like to be around those they have something in common with? If someone is very different from you, it makes you uncomfortable.
One thing I have learned is, it doesn't matter to me what people believe, or how they live, or who they are. I don't feel compelled to have people around me that are just like me. That's because I never feel alone, or lonely, and I don't need other people around to make me feel contented or happy or fulfilled or just for company. I'm not looking for my "soulmate." Why? Because I am my own best friend, and I will never find anyone that makes me as happy as I make myself.
If a person truly loves themselves, and values themselves, and does not need another person to fulfill themseves, then nobody will need to control anyone else or try to make them to conform to their own image of how a person should be. Love being alone with yourself. Love discovering the depths of your self. Love coming to terms with who you really are. Love your talents and abilities. Love your essence, your soul. Then, you don't HAVE to have somebody else like yourself. When people can't stand to be alone, then they go looking for someone like themselves and have to make everyone else conform so they feel good about themselves.
I feel good enough about myself that I don't need to make anybody else be like me. It's like people are trying to prove that they are worthy, that they are good enough by thinking that if enough people decide to be like them, that proves they must be worth something, or proves that their way must be right. I DON'T HAVE TO PROVE ANYTHING. There is NOT one way that is right, all ways are right for those who choose them. Your choice is right for you. My choice is right for me.
And with that, there is no need for war, stealing, or force of any kind. There is no need to force your children to do what you want. OH MY, that means they would be free to decide not to go to school, not to make their beds, not to do anything they didn't want to do. And if you help them learn to value their needs, their thoughts and beliefs, they are going to ask for what they need without shame and you are going to show them how to get it, without force or shame.
By the same token, when you want something, you are going to value your own thoughts and feelings and go out and get what you want. But you say, I can't always have what I want. WHY?
Because I don't have the money to have what I want, or the person I want doesn't want me, or I can't get the job I want, or maybe I just want to lay in bed all day. Who is keeping you from doing those things?
OK, so you don't have the money you want. That's because you have limiting beliefs keeping that money from coming to you. See my Independent Income Generation page.
OK, so the person you want doesn't want you? Learn to love yourself so you don't need another person.
Want to lay in bed all day? You can! You say, but I'll get fired. OK, then go to my Independent Income Generation page.
Learn how to change your limiting beliefs and get money coming to you.
What if you say, "I want to go and steal a big screen TV."
To that I say, learn how to get a big screen TV without stealing. Go to my Independent Income Generation page, and my Law of Attraction page.
You really CAN have everything you want and need, but in legitimate ways and without hurting or depriving anyone else of what is theirs.
It just takes changing your limiting beliefs and activating the Law of Attraction.
Above all STOP TRYING TO CONTROL OTHERS and STOP LETTING OTHERS CONTROL YOU.
Live with unconditional love for yourself and others, there will be no need for control, no need to force others to do what you want, no need to do all kinds of things with your life that you don't want to do just so you can live they way others want you to.
Living with Love means not placing limits on people, and respecting their choices. Let's create that kind of world together.
Back to the Center for Unhindered Living Knowledge Collection
Copyright 2006=8 Judie C. Rall and The Center for Unhindered Living
People would be trusted to live their lives according to their own beliefs. People would be allowed to trust their own thoughts and feelings and act on them when they felt it was appropriate. And, love would also allow the consequences of one's own actions to teach them about which actions are really beneficial for them and which ones aren't. People would be allowed to learn, on their own, the way that seems best to them, and nobody would try to get one person to be like another. Each way of life would be respected and unconditional love would reign.
Why isn't this the way our society lives?
True love involves a total lack of control. A person who truly loves respects the other person's autonomy. A person who truly loves respects the other person's thoughts and feelings. A person who truly loves realizes that if the other person's needs are truly met, there will be no negative consequences, no negative actions, no negative repercussions.
It is very sad, but one reason people do not live this way is that we can't stand to be alone. We want other people that are like us to be around, so although each person starts out as a unique individual, they are quickly trained to be like everyone else. Isn't it true that most people like to be around those they have something in common with? If someone is very different from you, it makes you uncomfortable.
One thing I have learned is, it doesn't matter to me what people believe, or how they live, or who they are. I don't feel compelled to have people around me that are just like me. That's because I never feel alone, or lonely, and I don't need other people around to make me feel contented or happy or fulfilled or just for company. I'm not looking for my "soulmate." Why? Because I am my own best friend, and I will never find anyone that makes me as happy as I make myself.
If a person truly loves themselves, and values themselves, and does not need another person to fulfill themseves, then nobody will need to control anyone else or try to make them to conform to their own image of how a person should be. Love being alone with yourself. Love discovering the depths of your self. Love coming to terms with who you really are. Love your talents and abilities. Love your essence, your soul. Then, you don't HAVE to have somebody else like yourself. When people can't stand to be alone, then they go looking for someone like themselves and have to make everyone else conform so they feel good about themselves.
I feel good enough about myself that I don't need to make anybody else be like me. It's like people are trying to prove that they are worthy, that they are good enough by thinking that if enough people decide to be like them, that proves they must be worth something, or proves that their way must be right. I DON'T HAVE TO PROVE ANYTHING. There is NOT one way that is right, all ways are right for those who choose them. Your choice is right for you. My choice is right for me.
And with that, there is no need for war, stealing, or force of any kind. There is no need to force your children to do what you want. OH MY, that means they would be free to decide not to go to school, not to make their beds, not to do anything they didn't want to do. And if you help them learn to value their needs, their thoughts and beliefs, they are going to ask for what they need without shame and you are going to show them how to get it, without force or shame.
By the same token, when you want something, you are going to value your own thoughts and feelings and go out and get what you want. But you say, I can't always have what I want. WHY?
Because I don't have the money to have what I want, or the person I want doesn't want me, or I can't get the job I want, or maybe I just want to lay in bed all day. Who is keeping you from doing those things?
OK, so you don't have the money you want. That's because you have limiting beliefs keeping that money from coming to you. See my Independent Income Generation page.
OK, so the person you want doesn't want you? Learn to love yourself so you don't need another person.
Want to lay in bed all day? You can! You say, but I'll get fired. OK, then go to my Independent Income Generation page.
Learn how to change your limiting beliefs and get money coming to you.
What if you say, "I want to go and steal a big screen TV."
To that I say, learn how to get a big screen TV without stealing. Go to my Independent Income Generation page, and my Law of Attraction page.
You really CAN have everything you want and need, but in legitimate ways and without hurting or depriving anyone else of what is theirs.
It just takes changing your limiting beliefs and activating the Law of Attraction.
Above all STOP TRYING TO CONTROL OTHERS and STOP LETTING OTHERS CONTROL YOU.
Live with unconditional love for yourself and others, there will be no need for control, no need to force others to do what you want, no need to do all kinds of things with your life that you don't want to do just so you can live they way others want you to.
Living with Love means not placing limits on people, and respecting their choices. Let's create that kind of world together.
Back to the Center for Unhindered Living Knowledge Collection
Copyright 2006=8 Judie C. Rall and The Center for Unhindered Living