Mature Relationships
As we discussed on the previous page, "The Purpose of Marriage", the formal and legalized marriage relationship exists specifically to control those parties involved. Why would anyone want to force themselves into such a situation?
If two people want to have a relationship, and make a committment to each other that they will be monogamous, then they should do so. But if two people want an open relationship, where monogamy is not required, or if they want a relationship where three or more people are committed to each other, and within the framework of the relationship that they have constructed, they are going to faithful to each other, they should do so. One does not need a legalized marriage contract in order to maintain a faithful, stable, loving home.
I have many friends who have chosen a long-term relationship together, without entangling themselves in a marriage contract. When two people make a conscious choice to belong to each other and to honor each other with monogamy, no piece of paper is needed to make them stay together.
Marriage is a state of mind, it need not be a legal prison! There can be many kinds of mature relationships: one man, one woman; two women; two men; one man, two women; one woman, two men; two women, two men; one man, three women; one woman, three men; the list could go on and on. Choose which relationship you want, and honor those within it by committing to them and staying together.
However, if the relationship changes so that it no longer works, or someone in the relationship feels it no longer serves them as it once did, let them go. Love them, want the best for them, and be willing to lovingly part and be friends forever. It's ok that it didn't work. We all make mistakes, but there's no reason to punish someone for the rest of their lives because a relationship didn't work like you thought it would.
A marriage should be whatever those involved choose for it to be. There is no reason why it has to be defined the same way for everyone. No one person or group of people in society has the right to decide for everyone what is best for them. For that reason, I hope more people will form loving, lasting relationships WITHOUT entangling themselves in the bonds of a legally binding contract such as traditional marriage.
Back to The Center for Unhindered Living
Back to Unhindered Partnerships
Back to History, Purpose, and Need for Change in Marriage
Copyright 2004-9 Judie C. Snelson and The Center for Unhindered Living